Never underestimate the value of a smile..

I guess I should begin by stating that I absolutely hate driving in the city.

I'm a very anxious person. Always have been, probably always will. The older I get, the more I learn to keep some of that anxiety at bay. Things as odd as going to the chiropractor have actually helped. I found out that my neck sort of grows in the opposite direction from what it should. It drastically leans forward, instead of tilting back. This apparently causes all my little neurons and such to have to strain to reach my brain stem. I found out that this can actually cause people to be highly anxious. Perhaps it's merely the placebo effect, but I do feel like my anxiety level has gone down several notches in the three weeks of adjustments I've had with Dr. Greg.

However, I'm straying off course.

The point is...I'm anxious. And driving in the city is not a good thing for anyone who is naturally a nervous person. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy driving. Put me out in the middle of nowhere with a full tank of gas and plenty of time, and I'll be happier then a kid in a candy store. I love back roads, feeling the wind on my face, and looking at country homes and wildlife.

But driving in Louisville is not...and i repeat, NOT...like driving around my old stomping grounds in Anderson County.

It's hectic, and it's busy. People don't use turn signals, drive in whatever lane they feel like whenever they feel like...sometimes even all of them at the same time! Drivers can be rude. They'll ride your tail and then honk at you if you hit the breaks, as if you are the one in the wrong. Some roads have weird traffic lights, and these lanes can change depending on the time of day it is. Granted, I'm sure most of you are familiar with what I'm talking about. If you've never drove in Louisville, you've probably driven in Lexington, or Chicago, or LA..or okay...pretty much anywhere. :)

Some day's are worse then others. Some times are worse then others, but inevitably if you've ever been in a car in a large city you know what I'm talking about.

And some people can handle that....but..

Have i mentioned I'm an anxious person? ;)

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My day has been extremely hectic. I had an orientation for my graduate program at 10:45 this morning. I'm fairly familiar with U of L's campus, so I figured I'd leave my  house about 10:00 am. That'd get me to school by a quarter after. Sometimes parking can be crazy, so that'd give me plenty of time to find a place to park.

Well, it was even more crazy then I thought. Welcome Week was also this week, so the parking lot was full. By 10:25 I'm still circling the garage looking for a spot. Finally I nab one on the roof, and head down to orientation.

That went well. I had my phone on vibrate because I obviously didn't want it to ring while i was in orientation. However, I was expecting a call. My boyfriend and I recently signed up for Direct TV and it was to be installed today. I'd been told to expect a call sometime between 12 and 4 letting me know that my technician was on the way. The plan was that whenever he called me, I'd text my boyfriend so that Charlie would know to be up to let the guy in. He works third shift, so ordinarily he'd be sleeping until 4 pm.

By 1:00 I'm making my way back to the parking garage and still no phone call. I had a chiropractor appointment at 2, so I figured I'd run home and change into my Adidas before making my way to the St. Matthews area. In the process of leaving the garage, I nearly got nailed twice by the same person. It all goes back to that bad driving things. For some reason people feel the need to go 55 in our schools parking garage. What surprised me was that this wasn't even a student. It was obviously a parent, his wife in the passenger seat and their prospective U of L'er in the backseat. After nearly running over me as I pulled out of my parking spot, he then proceeds to go down the wrong way and tried to hit me again as we crossed paths on a lower level. And of course, I'm the one in the wrong...or at least it appeared to be that way from the scowl on his face and the speed at which his mouth was moving. I'm thankful not to have been a fly on the wall, for that one.

From there I head back to our house in Germantown. Of course on the way, there was more aggrivations. A semi truck on the corner of Floyd was trying to do only Lord knows what, and no one wanted to be patient to wait for him. Then as I get on Eastern Parkway, there's people everywhere cutting in and out of traffic. By the time I got to Reutlinger, I was emotionally exhausted.

I get home, only to see the Direct TV truck parked and our front door wide open. Apparently Stu, our lovely tech, didn't bother to call before hand. Luckily, Charlie was awake. I ran in, changed shoes, and then I was off again.

Heading out to St. Matthews, no real drama, just lots and lots of traffic. I'm still not sure what was going on today to cause so many to be out and about in the middle of the day. None the less, I made it there and back by 2:30.

And at 2;30, when I get home? The Direct TV tech is STILL at our house. Of course I felt terrible for Charlie. He probably got at most 2 hours of sleep, and then had to go to work at Zappos for ten hours. It's going to be a long, long, long day for him.

The hour long installation turned into a 2 and a half hour long installation. I won't complain though. Our  tv is up and running great.

Just when I thought my day was over, I found out that my student loan money had come in. As much as I hated getting back out, I wanted to go ahead and make a deposit into my bank and pay the rent, which we were a couple weeks behind on.

So back out into the mad world I go again. This time a drive down Bardstown road. I hate Bardstown road with a deep and burning passion. It's hectic, it's confusing, and not only do you have nutty drivers to deal with you have crazy pedestrians, and bike riders who feel extremely entitled to do as they please.

And I don't have air in my car. And it's hot. So there's that. And even though I've lived in Louisville awhile, I'm still directionally challenged at times. Thankfully, my phone has GPS on it.

Except my phone recently updated and my GPS system changed. So today was the first time I had to use it. Let's just say it didn't go so well.

I got to the bank. But then I needed to get to our landlords house, which is in St. Matthews off Westport Road.

For some reason my gps system took me in the general vacinity, but failed to direct me to his address. It was close but no cigar. I managed to reset it and find myself there, but I was irritated none the less. Of course, what can i say? Technology is only as good as the person using it. Need I say more?

By the time I drop of rent, and get back in my car, i'm set. I know how to get home. Shouldnt be a problem. Of course, some flying insect has decided to make himself an unpaying passenger in my car. So now I'm trying to grip my steering wheel with one hand and navigate back out to Westport Road without being killed, and I'm trying to shew Mr. Fly out of my face with the other hand.

Guh.

By this time, i'm just absolutely wore out. And it dawns on my I havent eaten. As much as I don't want to stop anywhere, I realize that I've got the shakes. I have a tendency to have low blood sugar, so I really have to watch that.

I decide I'll just run in the drive through at Wendys. I'll get a milkshake and be home in less then ten minutes. I got into the parking lot easily enough, I place my order, I pay and then ..

And then? I cant get out. Bardstown road is flying. I'm not about to try try to get out there. I roll into reverse, drive around to the other other side and plan on pulling out onto Grinstead. That's the better way to go anyway, for me to get home.

But now, I've got cars coming at me. I need to cross traffic to take a left. The left lane is empty, but the right lane is crazy.

If I could have crumpled up into a little ball of tears at this moment, I would have. I'm hot, I'm tired, I'm ready to be home.

And that's when it happened.

A man in a huge red pickup truck approached me from my right, and as if he could sense how utterly soul crushed I was...he..simply...stopped.

He smiled at me and waved me on. I glanced to my left and it was good. So i gunned it and turned sharply to my left. As i passed him, He smiled again and nodded his head. I frantically waved at him. Honestly, he probably thought I was a nutcase. My hair frazzled from the humidity, sweat pouring down my cheeks, and a psychotic smile plastered on my face. Oh well.

All i know is that made my day. I made it home, parked and came inside. Exhausted but with a mood much brighter then it had been an hour before.

Never forget the power of a good deed. I think that's a lesson we all should learn. In spite of our busy lives, and crazy schedules, we really should take the time to do something little for someone else. Friend, foe or stranger, it matters not. You never know what kind of day someone is having, and maybe that will be the little boost that they need to finish it out.

Never underestimate the value of a smile. It means more then you can ever know.

words

The sun's gonna rise again
Beginnings come from another's end.
There's gonna be anger and pain and tears
Life is full of irrational fears
Shut the door on the past and walk away
you can look back, just don't stay.
Take the lessons and move towards the light
Sometimes you walk out of the ring losing the fight.
There can be no rainbows without the rain
No healing occurs without some pain.
Change can't happen if you don't want to change.

Sometimes we break, only to be rebuilt
Things aren't always straight and narrow, you gotta look with a tilt.
Black and white is not realistic
and pretending it is simply wont fix it.
We put on our blinders, we walk in a line
In paving our own way, we're afraid to fall behind.
but sometimes that's exactly where we should be
from way in the back, the truth you can see.
A long perspective is necessary
Drop the baggage, it's not something to carry.
even a carry on is needed so rarely.

Watch the fight,
enjoy the flight
try with all your might
to take a bite
of the life
you'd like
to lead.

Past mistakes
help to make
you take
your foot of the break
so that you can escalate
into the person who you could be.