Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A New Chapter: the horizon's in the distance

In exactly 20 days, I will start a new chapter in my life: graduate school.

To be honest, I don't think I'd ever make it this far. Sure, I'd talked on and off about the possibility of getting my Masters, but I've never had any real sense of direction. In high school, I made good grades. I went to college because that is what you are supposed to do. I majored in Art, because I enjoyed in and I figured if I had to spend four more years being educated I should at least enjoy it. Besides, "they" always said you should just get a degree. It didn't seem to matter what it was in.

Four years later, I had a nice fancy piece of paper that said I was an expert in Fine Arts, as well as in Educational Ministries. I had double majored at the last minute, because I didn't see the point in a minor. What would a minor do for me exactly? I enjoyed Theology, I was at a Southern Baptist university and I had made good grades in all my required Theology courses..so why not?

And then off into the real world I went. I quickly found out that "they" were wrong. Having two degrees was impressive, but that didn't get me any great job. I bounced around from one hourly paid job to another, never making much money and never finding a niche.

Once out of the religious bubble of a Christian school, I found myself disillusioned with the church. Never with God, mind you. Never with Jesus. But with christians. I discovered that so many of us want to talk a great talk, but don't walk our faith. I'm just as guilty, but I've always tried my hardest to simply be myself. I don't pretend that I'm perfect, and I do NOT judge others for their imperfections. None of us are righteous, and all are sinners. So really, who are we to judge one another?

But that's not what this blog is about, so I digress. The point is in becoming so unglued from church, I knew I'd never work for one. So  my educational ministry degree served very little purpose. Other then it was a reminder that I have a genuine heart for people. I will always want to serve. Since I was a little girl, I've been the "listener", the "therapist". But what did that mean?

My art degree? Well...i've never wanted to teach. And I'm no Monet. So what does one do with that? I discovered along the way the therepeutic side of art. The healing potential it has, not only for the one doing it but for those that look at it. So now what?

I decided to look into Art therapy. And that brought me to U of L. They have one of the only art therapy programs in the state, and I live in Louisville. It only made sense to check into it. Turns out I was missing a lot of prerequisites. The cheapest and fastest way to get around this was to enroll as an undergrad yet again. So i began my journey in January of 2011.

Psychology became my major, and for two full semesters I lived, breathed and ate psychology. However, the more I looked into it, I still felt disconnected. It seemed so focused, so final, so closed off.

Upon the urging of a good friend, I made an appointment to speak with someone in the Social Work office. Within ten minutes, my whole scholastic life had been turned upside down. The woman that I spoke with was one of the deans of the Kent School, and she highly advised me to apply for graduate school for a Masters of Science in Social work. With this degree, I'd be able to work towards becoming a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, this would allow for me to see patients as a Therapist and I'd be billable for Medicare/Medicaid. This is a good thing, as anyone who's ever worked in billing knows.

Not only that, but the spectrum of Social Work is so much more open. A social worker says that there's more to a person's problem then just state of self. Psychology is very inward. You are who you are because of who you are. Social Work says that you are who you are because of a culmination of things...how you were raised, where you were raised, who you were raised by. This speaks more to the idea of holistic treatment. I'm a firm believer in that. There are so many factors that contribute to our personality and to our sense of self. It's important to look at the bigger picture to see cause and effect.

Not only that, but social workers get their hands dirty. They aren't paid billions of dollars to sit in an office and treat the wealthy. They are working with every aspect of human kind. The poor, the homeless, single parents, wards of the state. Social workers do not see race, nor wealth. they don't judge based on religion or creed. They are simply there to help. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, they are there to help.

Please don't get me wrong I'm not saying that Psychologists or Psychiatrists don't do this as well, I'm just saying that more often then not it's the Social Workers who are really in the trenches.

And well, I've realized that's where I want to be.

I've still got so much to learn. I'm not coming at this with any sort of background. I've sorta been in left field for much of the game. It's exciting and overwhelming all at the same time. And because there are so many opportunites and the door is open so wide within this area, I'm still not quite sure where I'll find myself at the end of my two year study. However, that's the beauty of the program. I'll get to work with a variety of people, learn a variety of skills and hopefully through the combination of education and experience I'll have a better idea at the end which direction I'll be going in.

At least I know what road I'm walking on now and that in itself is quite a relief. For so long I've just wandered aimlessly with no real end in sight. It's nice to see the horizon in my sight.

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